Gasp!

My volunteering job, selling books. Yes, a bookworm, a writer selling books. How fitting?

Heres a more theatrical view:

Let the light flood into your eyes for the first time. . . 

Sitting at the table, I observe small pockets of people running in a chaotic mess in fruitless efforts to solidify last minute items. A pristine white cloth still drapes over the books on the table. I don’t try to remove it.

“Hello.” I look up. “Sorry, I’m running a bit late. My name is Will.”

“Katie,” I reply, shaking his hand. “Nice to meet you.”

“The pleasure is all mine.” I smile, glancing into his eyes. On his lips a smile forms too. “I guess I should begin with telling you a little about my father and me. Or should I call him Tony? I don’t know how to address him around others.” A wisp of a chuckle passes his lips. He glances thoughtfully, almost whimsically at the glossy covers neatly organized in stacks. Silence follows—as much as silence there can be with people walking and chatting throughout the concrete hallways.

Reaching for one of the books, Wil hands it across the table. “Tony wrote Gasp! a few years ago in hopes to introduce others to a path. A path to new life. Our afterlife. What you and I consider heaven.” I nod, prompting him to continue.

“We’ve been traveling the country for about six or seven years now to spread his ministries. Proclaiming his word by surrendering our entire lives to God, we can save our life and heal our soul. By spiritual word as their food, we nurture those who know God. And we help those who have not met God, find him. We are the light that shines in their darkness because God has chosen to shine through us. We have the love of his word. And you, you have the compassion to bind us together.”

. . .feel the blood course through your veins. . . 

            People walk, strut, meander past the table—each person with their own unique style. Some decide to dye their hair spectrums of the rainbow, while others use their skin as canvas to convey art, and even others follow a gaggle of people huddled together. I observe, but don’t call out.

            With shoulder length chestnut hair veiling her face, I watch as she carefully handles the book. Meticulous in her movements, she flips over to the back cover. Yet, I don’t speak. I wait, knowing her eyes scan the words, absorbing his message.

            Her eyes meet mine.

            My cheeks flush, while heat rises to my face. “Are you interested in buying the book?” I ask tentatively ready for the rejection to come. It wouldn’t have been the first time tonight, if she places the book back on the table before leaving. That’s happened more times than I would like to count.

            Her immediate response of “yes” is the only encouragement I need to retell the background of the book.

             “Tony Nolan is our inspirational speaker for tonight’s event,” I begin. “He is encouraging our faith in God. We need less of ourselves, more of God. Our plan is not God’s plan. In the end, though, God’s plan will have us right where he wants us to be, for he knows better than ourselves.” I feel a spark of light arise in my heart.

“It is our relationship and understanding with God that Tony wants us to build, maintain and preach. Yet in our lives, social norms confine us. We want our friends, our family, our peers, our co-workers even if they are not our favorite, to join the kingdom of Heaven--our afterlife. But it would be ridiculous for us to say scream it to the world because unfortunately we want to keep our relationship with our friends, families, peers, co-workers. To touch on the topic of religion and afterlife could form a barrier.

             “This book, however, with a dedication box on the third page, is meant to be a gift.” This light inside of me grows with each passing word, becoming brighter. “It’s meant to be shared. It is meant to have an impact. And it’s an easy way to approach the subjects we are hesitant to speak about.” The light, I feel has flooded my body, taking every path through my veins. With light comes warmth. And with warmth comes happiness and fulfillment. “For that, God is able to touch lives that otherwise may not ever hear his word.”

. . .find the truest version of yourself by knowing the one who knows you even better than you know yourself.

A constant flow of people cycle through, grabbing a book or two, giving me cash before filing into the autographing line. Some bills crisp. Some folded. Some crinkled.

Tony’s black marker scribbles across the title page. Happiness and smiles is equal to the amount of tears shed--tears of sorrow, relief, joy, redemption. I watch in awe as the millions of emotions mingle in conversation. Light that initially radiates from Tony and Wil envelopes the people surrounding them. And knowing that I can help cultivate, alight and brighten the non-existent or dim light from others, gives a new meaning to God’s purpose.

The line dwindles to the last few people, Wil sets a stack of books onto the Tony’s small autograph table. Each book is given to a new owner with their own message of preserving hope.

He turns to me. “And you name is?” Tony asks.

“Katie.”

“You know, Katie, people ask me all the time why I write ‘God Bless You’ in all of the books I sign. And I write it because it’s my prayer for you. I am always praying for you.” His loopy handwriting wrote a reference to the bible: Psalm 147:3.

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

“That’s what you’ve been doing today, Katie. You’ve been healing others by spreading our ministry and God’s word. You have compassion that you’re willing to share. That’s why God granted you to be here today. It is volunteers like you who allow this tour to be a success.” I smile. “And to you I will be forever grateful.”

I place my hand on the glossy cover. “The pleasure is all mine. It is by God’s will that I have served you. And by all means a pleasure to place my life with God.”

. . . And [his] love will always remain.

The bolded phrases are part of a monologue cited from “O God Forgive Us” a song written by for KING and COUNTRY

Smallbone, Joel; Smallbone, Luke; and Mosley, Seth. "O God Forgive Us." YouTube. YouTube, 16 Sept. 2014. Web. 21 Feb. 2015. <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3Rn9FOOHl8>.